Writing auto-cosmologically is different
from writing an autobiography. The level of experiential subjectivity is
greater, including trying to find words to describe the, often eluding, many spiritual
dimensions of life. How we experience and understand such dimensions is truly
subjective and wholly dependent on mind-body-soul integration, our own unique soul’s
journey, the strength, intensity, and insistence of the inner call. We are all
unique, therefore no one story is the same, yet through the diversity shared, God’s,
prime creator’s co-creative process becomes a bit more visible. The question “who
am I” has throughout history called wo/man to dive deep into the mystery, and
it seems like an everlasting quest. As we collectively evolve, the question is
always asked afresh. Here is my attempt to share with the reader some of what
my specific consciousness has experiences, studied, inquired and found.
We live soul-encased lives, within
the electromagnetic causal field of our souls, whether we are aware of, or have
awakened to the fact or not. We can feel stark feelings of separation in our
own little bubble of consciousness in this three-dimensional world. Yet on deeper
levels of life, our unity and undividedness with all Life becomes very clear
and can be experienced, but requires both the recognition of soul & spirit
and the allowing of the soul to inform and infuse us. There are many stages to
this process, and first the recognition of soul may suffice, but then as hunger
grows, it is important to adopt practices and disciplines to really get to know
your own unique soul. It is after all the energetic force that brought you into
incarnation, and knowing something of its purpose is preferable. Like with any
other skill, it takes practice and patience. Ultimately and somewhat surprisingly,
the nature of the process is to the large degree that of remembering. Naturally
we may need outer guidance, inspiration, acquire knowledge and wisdom, develop
spiritual intelligence, but eventually it is your own indwelling soul who is the
most important guide, divinity and inner guru. It has our best interest at heart,
even when it’s guiding us to our unconscious shadow lands to look at trauma and
pain, uplift and enabling light to shine through. This best interest at heart
cannot always be guaranteed with outer guides and gurus.
Universal consciousness is said to be
the next stage in human development. Our individuation phase, which started
some 4-5000 years ago is reaching its zenith and we are moving towards group-
and universal consciousness. Tension runs high currently, between the old and
the new, the push to hinder and block this long due, heart-opening and
soul-infusion of humanity is enormous. We are living through a break-down,
break-through birthing process into a new paradigm and depending on from which
side of the equation, interconnected soul, or separated personality we watch
the human, planetary and solar-system drama, our home region in this galaxy, at
any given moment, it can be felt as either ecstasy or agony.
There is really nothing outside of
subjectivity, we are both the perceiver, creator, experiencer, mirror, and reflector
of our lives. Therefore, it becomes paramount to what extent awareness,
consciousness has been sophisticated and refined, and to what extent we have been
able to allow the soul to take charge of our life. Has the soul energy been able
to throw light into our shadowy, unconscious realms? Has it uplifted matter (energy
blockages in our body, the temple of Salomon), healed trauma and karma?
It is not enough to only have occasional
awakening experiences. They need to be joined by and supported by the growth in
spiritual intelligence, as it will be the intelligence, which determines how we
interpret what happens to us. The perspectives can vary from ego-centric,
ethno-centric, world-centric to cosmo-centric – i.e., whatever the worldview of
the perceiver. (Ken Wilber) This is a fairly recent recognition. Humans have
been having awakening experiences throughout history for probably 50.000 years counting
the many shamanic practices of indigenous tribes since time immemorial. Spiritual
intelligence as such, was only recognized some 100 years ago, a fairly new development.
We have many kinds of intelligences: cognitive, musical, mathematical, spatial,
emotional etc. and we also have spiritual intelligence. Sadly, none of our
dogmatic religious institutions have recognized this specific form of
intelligence and they have unfortunately with time become both stale and crystallized
in old forms, having mostly stayed at the ethno-centric level of spiritual
intelligence. Although we do see some positive developments more recently in
ecumenical recognition that all world religions offer, in their deepest
mystical teachings a path to enlightenment and greater wholeness, albeit only
to the few, not necessarily yet to the many.
There is a huge difference to recognize
and say “I have a soul”, to having come to the realization “the soul has me.” The
inner directive has changed and cannot be reversed when soul-infusion has
happened already to a large degree. The point of no return has been reached, awe,
humility and surrender are daily companions as the soul reveals its ever-expanding
scope. For me this realization started coming in some twenty years ago and
really landed in 2005, prior to that there had been some ten years of
remembering and interest, mainly within the Tibetan Buddhist lineages.
I want to share a few subjective awakening
experiences, some of them seventeen years apart, to demonstrate the slow patient
path and how both decent and ascent are necessary for the heart center to fully
open. Both are needed, and one is no better than the other, rather they are in
a constant vibratory relationship to one another. When you go up (Yang), you
need to go down, in order to integrate and infuse. When you go down (Yin), like a rubber band,
the upper temple stretches to meet the challenge, to receive the energies,
traumas, blocks and helping them release and heal in your heart. My estimate
is, that some 70- 80% of our wounding – early childhood trauma, karmic blocks,
ancestral-, national- and humanity wide trauma/karma layers– sits in the Yin
portion of the electromagnetic field of our individual and collective bodies.
So badly has this sacred part of our temple, Earth-bound, feminine energy,
right side of the brain, been suppressed during the era of patriarchy,
masculine energy dominance (in both men and women). Pain gets frozen and
solidified in matter, creates entropy and blocks. This has happened for all people,
families and the Earth herself. The soul’s greatest desire is to incarnate
fully, re-write the patterns of matter (your body and the body of Earth), spiritualize
and uplift matter, release the pain and bring new loving patterns, creativity
and fluidity into our lives.
A good example of pain ridden matter
is any battle field or place where enormous human suffering has occurred. Also true
where ever animals have suffered or where the plant kingdom has been devastated.
From this perspective climate change and crisis as it is portrayed and
propagandized today, even this, is ultimately an inner journey of healing. As hearts
heal and come into coherence with all life, right relationship towards Earth
and her kingdoms will come about naturally. She is I; and I am not separate
from her and I treat her with love and respect.
When I visited the Battlefield of Culloden
in the Highlands of Scotland for the first time it was a painful experience. The
battle of Culloden, between the Jacobite’s and England’s governmental troops
took place in 1746, yet still today sensitives can sense and feel the pain that
lay dormant in the landscape. I could not just feel it in my body, my high-sense
sight and smell opened up and I saw streams of greyish-white, slightly bad-smelling
energy flowing up from the ground. I
spent a few hours walking around in nausea, staying with my heart open and
feeling great reverence for the sacrifices that must have happened there nearly
300 years ago. Still today we humans wage war, and future sensitives and healers
will walk other battlefields releasing the pain stuck there. It is so sad, that
we as a species have not managed to transcended the us versus them mindset, a
great majority are still very ethno-centric in their worldviews and create strife
and wars projecting the evil outside of themselves, instead of uprooting it from
within.
DECENT
Approximately three years ago, a few
months before the pandemic started, my inner guidance asked me to withdraw,
concentrate on my meditation and transmutation work. For a moment, I was perplexed
as I had clients booked and a workshop planned as well as other spiritual
service work in the pipeline for 2020. But the soul-promptings were strong and
as I was already accustomed to trusting and taking them seriously, I adhered to
the instructions. Little did I understand, at the time, the level of chaos humanity
was about to plunge itself into as the pandemic hit early 2020. All outer
activity STOPPED, but on the inner planes the anxiety, fear and panic of the collective
field could be felt!
The Wesak of 2020, May full moon, became
a deep and profound expansion for me. I had gone out in nature to a beautiful
spot close by. It has gorgeous old trees, a big birch, a big pine, and a big
conifer, all have stood there for hundreds of years in a landscape with opening
fields, a lake to the left and far off forest to the right. I had found the
area some years earlier, a little nature reserve, preserved because of ancient
bronze age graves and a far forgotten, over grown garden from times immemorial.
I had often come here to this small spot of beauty to meditate. With the old trees
behind me there is the prefect granite stone-seat overlooking the fields, a
favorite spot.
By this time, a few months into the
pandemic frenzy, life in all society had come to a halt, strict restrictions
everywhere. Gaia and her kingdoms received a pause from incessant human
activity, she breathed more easily and the skies were clearer as all airplanes were
stranded on ground. There was an extraordinary stillness that day. Beautiful
sunshine with just a few puffy little clouds slowly moving past. I settled into
meditation.
My field started expanding almost immediately
as I sank deeper into meditation. But this time, the expansion did not stop at
its usual frequency, but continued in my electromagnetic field both down, above,
and sideways. I felt a deep feeling of melting into the landscape, becoming the
landscape, embraced by grace and love, tears rising to my eyes – pure awe,
sinking deeper into Gaia’s inner Earth as well as rising higher into space and
cosmos. Suddenly the sound barrier broke, a devastating sound pulse came
through, five times in an interval of a few minutes apart. Naturally I got startled. Amazed I peeked to
see if there was after all an airplane flying low, but no, nothing was to be
seen and anyway nothing worldly could produce such a rhythmic sound. The sound came
equally from below the Earth, or through her, and above from space, penetrating
my aura, etheric body, and physical body. This kind of monadic, pure-spirit sound-bombardment
had happened once before, seventeen years earlier, then too accompanied by a
huge expansion of my aura, so I was not totally thrown off center. I composed
myself quickly and settled to continue the meditation. After maybe an hour, deep
emotions of vulnerability were rising and an inner voice said several times: “Mother,
mother, why have we forsaken you?” I was not crying, nor sobbing, rather, focused
and concentrated, in a deep meditative state, yet a silent flow of tears started
running along my cheeks as I sank deeper and deeper into communion with the Goddess
and her beingness within Gaia. A metallic-like, cold and crystalline energy started
streamed through me from below and with my inner eye I saw the most beautiful
crystal at her core, emanating streams of light forming a gorgeous mandala throughout
her being. Her heart pulsing at her core. My energy body, the filaments of
etheric substance touched this mandala and heart, an understanding of our unity
overwhelmed me. I was in her heart and she was in mine. After a long while, staying
with this overwhelming recognition, my consciousness surged through the middle
point of the mandala, a mini black hole, through a portal into the other side,
only to arrive in the hugely expansive strata of the Universe with the black
hole of our Milky Way galaxy looming above me. The universal and the singular were
collapsing within me in the most graceful expansive manner. The electricity
running through my system was very strong and I could feel four hearts
pulsating in rhythm, Gaia’s heart, my own, the heart of the Sun and the heart
of the Galaxy. This phase was so intense it did not last very long, but the
imprint of the collapse and the pulsating hearts in multiple dimensions stayed.
This experience was profound, being simultaneously
in ecstasy and agony (if that is possible), feeling deep at-onement with Gaia,
her kingdoms, and the Universe at large. Now, nearly three years later, I am still
integrating.
Sound barrier pulse break
I had experienced the sound barrier
pulse break once before. It happened during my solitary retreat time, maybe the
year was 2007. It was a hot summers day in august and I sat in my garden
reading Alice A. Bailey’s book Esoteric Astrology. A very strange reading
experience, not understanding much of what I was reading, but downloading
energy streams through my crown center with such intensity, I could not let the
book from my hands. Behind me a thunderstorm was rising up, I could hear its
rumble, and I followed it closely to catch the moment before the rain to go
inside. That moment never came, even though the air became very electric and
the background rumble increased. Instead, there was suddenly the most horrendous
sound, nothing like thunderstorm, but rather deep, deep male voices sounding
Heyaa/Hoyaa with such fortissimo I jumped up, looking around me. Simultaneously
my field started expanding. The sound came from everywhere, I could not place
it in some specific direction. I looked around
for an explanation to this rhythmic sound, it came five times a few minutes
apart. Could someone on the other side of the shore play the radio so loudly? But
no, it was not possible, no such sound was possible and anyway if it would have
been an ordinary loud sound, why was my field expanding. I sat down in
bewilderment. After a while the thunderstorm behind me resided and no rain nor storm
came.
Later that evening I checked my
emails. I had been in correspondence with Maureen Richmond, the author of the
book Sirius. As part of her answer to my many questions, she sent me a
tabulation of the means by which monadic levels may communicate. To my
astonishment Ray One was listed as: Thunderstorm, lightning and sound. The synchronicity
of experience, and information received, gave me goosebumps. Those two-and-a-half
retreat years were full of wonder and such strange synchronicity, one could say
my soul was working on me.
ASCENT
Cosmic lightning bolt
Seventeen years ago, a cosmic lightning
bolt struck through my whole energy system. It was Easter 2005, I was participating
in a week long, intense shamanic workshop at the Findhorn Foundation, Norther
Scotland exploring my zodiac, my soul’s energetic matrix through shamanic
journeying. I had already studied Astro-Shamanism at the Foundation for over a
year and practiced journeying, travelling both to the under-world and the
upper-world intensively in search of information. Learning to distinguish
between humanity’s collective fields of astral drama and catching those
soul-fragments, belonging to me and in need of integration, relevant for my own
soul’s journey in this life time. In addition to journeying alone, we also
worked in pairs and did powerful releasing trance-dances to intense music and
drumming. During the whole week I had been led, over and over again, to
crucifixion scenes, and had drawn many such pictures in my notebook. In a
pair-journey with Celia, after she had journeyed for me, she reported back: “Why
did you climb up on the cross over and over again? I had to drag you down three
times, before you were willing to stay laying on the ground. Only then could a
bed of roses be laid upon your body.” Our astonishment was great as I showed
her the crucifixion drawings I had made throughout the week.
On the last day the group did a
procession to the nearby power point, at Cluny Hill where allegedly the
energies of Venus connect with the core of the Earth. Already at the beginning
of the procession I started feeling very weird, my energy body expanding rapidly
on its own accord and I could not make any sense of what was happening. Simultaneously
the feeling sensation was that my physical body was shrinking (of course it was
not, but this is how it felt) and I was getting weaker and weaker as the increased
high voltage energy took hold of me. I had great difficulty following the
silent procession getting up along the spiraling path to the top. Somewhere in
my being I knew something substantial was going on and I tried to surrender,
but fear crept in as my ego fought and tried to understand the impossible.
Finally at the top of the power point, I collapsed and fell on my knees with my
head to the ground, just sobbing out of exhaustion in great bewilderment,
excruciating pain all over my physical body. My energy field continued to
expand and I lost outer sight, my consciousness left the body and within
seconds, seemed instantaneously, I was transported into a blazing white light which
penetrated all layers of my being, also the physical body all the way down to
the bones. I was literally electrified with an enormous power as if struck by
lightning.
The pain was unbearable, yet there
was a sense of layered presence and somewhere a feeling of surrender and
clarity, some part of me was saying it’s all right, just be with it. A strange
telepathic transmission and communication took place, scattering my worldview
forever through this all-encompassing experience. One of the things the blazing
light said, “this is who you are, actually this is who everybody is if only
they knew.” I responded by muttering: “you must have the wrong person, I am not
ready for this, where am I, what is happening?” but the light disagreed, “timing
is perfect, we have prepared you for a long time, you are ready, you are on
Sirius.”
I literally thought I was dying, a
kind of NDE (near death experience) although this was not happening on the
operating table or in a car-crash or any other kind of outer circumstance.
There was no tunnel of light, but an instantaneous transportation to the light.
I was told later by those around me that I had been gone for about 20 minutes.
I finally started to feel the earth underneath my body again, my consciousness
slowly returning. I was trembling and very weak, so weak in fact that I had to
be carried down the path, my body had lost all its strength. My friends helped
me inside the building, laid me on the floor and tucked me under some blankets
as I was shivering and ice cold. Someone brought Rescue Remedy and dropped a
few drops under my tongue. Several hours later I was brought home and fell
straight into my bed sleeping some 30 hours in one go, trying to recover from
what could only be described as a traumatic event for my body, ego and personality.
It took me many months to initially
make sense (if that’s even possible) of what had happened to me. I wrote down
the experience in order to ground it and help integrate. I could not initially
speak to anyone about it; at the time I did not know who to turn to and somehow,
I knew my experience was outside most people’s experiences, even those on a
spiritual path. It sunk in, that I would initially, be quite alone in my
exploration into what had happened to me. Eventually this lightning bolt
experience instigated an extensive (slightly obsessive for some years, I admit)
study into the Ageless Wisdom and Esoteric Philosophies of the world in search
for a more grounded and deeper understanding into my nature as a soul, hoping for
some explanations of the peak-experience and its subsequent expansion of
consciousness. Thankfully I found a lot of what I was looking for, which helped
immensely in the integration and expanding understanding of my
spirit-soul-mind-body connection and underlying wholeness. The role humanity
plays as a bridge between spirit and matter became clearer.
In the coming years peak experiences
continued although they were not as dramatic as the one, I have described here,
nevertheless I entered a period of ego-shattering, over and over again all
conditioned ways in which I had identified myself were ripped apart, rendering
a total redefining of my identity and identification.
It has taken me many, many years (in
some sense still work in progress) to integrate the shift and I’ve gone through
stages of delusion, short moments of inflated ego-aggrandizement to total
surrender to the Divine. Thank God the light on Sirius said “this is who everybody
is, if they only knew”, I could not therefore fall into the trap of feeling chosen
or special, although I was bewildered for a long time, often thinking, what the
heck was I supposed to do? I learned quickly that peak-experiences come and go
and in-between we integrate and continue to “chop wood and carry water”. The
journey turned out to be a continuing practice in surrender and humbleness
participating in the great mystery, the dance between the mother-father God-Creator.
For me, it has eventually been much more about finding the right way to be,
than finding the things to do, although here I am now – writing.
As I studied more about esoteric
Astrology and learned to analyzed my own chart, this encounter with the Sirian
light counsel, fell on my Chiron return, my menopause and crone-era start. As
if saying: “get on with it woman”, the soul had plans for this third phase of
life and I had better listen.
Approximately one year after this
event I withdrew for two-and-a-half years into seclusion to the Finnish
country-side, renting a cottage by the Baltic Sea with vast forests just behind
the house. An absolutely beautiful spot, with cows on pasture eating weed along
the shore, just below my kitchen window. The view was like a Dutch renaissance
painting and gave frequent moments of awe. During this time, my nervous system
was hyper and on high alert most of the time. I continued my study and
meditation practice, which felt more like a process of downloading and
remembering. Focused and concentrated, I hardly did much else, nevertheless, I
felt held, inspired and guided in my solitude. Extremely grateful for the forest
and its balancing quality on my energy field, she was so fiery and electric most
of the time. In the yard stood three conifers forming a triangle. I placed an
outdoor chair in their middle and used to sit, if it was very hot, under them reading
my books. Sometimes I even went there in the middle of the night, if need be, to
help calm my energy field and nervous system.
The cosmic bolt of lightning had
ignited a partial kundalini awakening and the subsequent years my subtle fields
went into a kind a cosmic washing machine, its centrifugal spin clearing and
purifying the soul field. I understood fairly quickly, that the kundalini awakening
had been only partial. My soul energy had difficulty flowing and incarnating
fully into my physical body; the trunk just wasn’t strong enough to carry the
electrical currents. I had difficulty grounding. During these years of
spiritual emergence, I had a lot of pain in my body, especially in my bones and
spine. Sometimes the fiery energy flowing through was so strong it felt like my
little house and I would go up in flames, even the house started sparkling with
electrical currents.
It’s become a life-long journey of “putting
the genie back into the bottle”, expanding and allowing the soul to infuse
every possible corner of my inner Universe, healing and uplifting blockages,
melting my heart and softening my belly.
“The shock throughout all realms is a
Call for the realization of harmony, cooperation and of unity.” Don’t remember
from where this quote is, but certainly it rang true for me.
Reflections
Each expansion led to fiery ordeals
in my energy body and a purification processes. In the Ageless Wisdom
traditions these fiery ordeals are called the burning-ground, which the
disciple has to cross before any initiation can be confirmed. In my case,
having the planet Uranus coming through both my Ascendent, Sun-Sign as well as the
Moon in my chart, meant that there has been no pardon for the force of fire
burning the auric field and hitting the etheric- and physical body, it has from
time to time been relentlessly brutal. Still is, as my field reacts both to
solar flares and oscillations in the Schuman resonance of Mother Earth. When I
look up some of the historical female mystics on Wikipedia, Julian of Norwich
is described as an anchoress. This appeals to my soul, there’s something of
this anchoring of new energy going on in my being as well.
In inner alchemy high frequent energies
descend, i.e., the manna from heaven, via the soul and monad/pure spirit
through the aura, into and through the etheric body, received by the nervous system,
transported via the endocrine system into the blood stream and organs, purifying
and uplifting denser energies. Spirit uplifting matter, shadows rising to be released,
allowing light to shine through the form, transmuting and transfiguring. This, we
human beings do one heart at the time, and as it is a highly individual, subjective
soul-specific process, it stays mostly invisible. One thing for sure, if not
before, judgement flies out of the window, as we never know what inner process’
anyone is going through. Only hinted at by alchemist and mystics, and sought
out by those approaching or doing similar inner work. My high-sense perceptions
as they evolved, include clairsentience, kinesthetic awareness, i.e., high
sense touch, heightened smell, better intuition and blessings of straight knowledge.
This specific pallet of high-sense
perception meant that I feel very acutely where the energies are trying to
penetrate and change patterns. When some age-old karmic block is released, sometimes
with a puff of very bad smelling, decaying substance floating, fizzing out of my
body. Likewise, when my inner guides and allies are pleased with my efforts I
am surrounded by freesia, rose and/or jasmine smells, as if placed in a garden
of flowers for a while. I’ve interpreted this as a tap on the shoulder, well done
sister! There are soul’s called Lotuses of Perfume, maybe mine is such?
Shortly after the Sirius/cosmic
lightning bolt experience, I started having severe pain in my right shoulder
and right arm, without any outer explanation for this pain. It continued for
weeks and resulted also in rashes in my armpits. So, I walked around with my
right arm out-stretched. I could not sleep
normally in my bed, but had to find a position in my comfy chair with my arm bundled
up against my chest with a calming lavender cloth in my armpit. Very uncomfortable
for weeks. Finally, I sought help from a Chinese Acupuncture specialist in town,
who had been recommended by many. Little did I know, she did her diagnosis using
her clairvoyance ability, scanning through the many layers of my being with her
third eye. I’m not fond of such diagnosis, because I can feel it so precisely, especially
as she did not ask for my consent prior to using her third eye. It was a weird
experience, I with my clairsentience knew exactly where she was scanning, in
which layers of my soul and aura she was moving and which organs received her
gaze. The whole diagnosis took some 20 minutes, after which she said: “Sorry,
can’t help you, this is a three-thousand-year-old karma coming through you, you
just need to allow it to flow through. I can only help you a little bit with
the pain”. What happened next was a bit
startling, she asked: “Why does a professor level soul work in a kindergarten
(referring to the Findhorn Foundation)”? I had heard rumors, that she had tried
to recruit members to her own spiritual organization, so already a bit annoyed
at her lack of professionalism regarding consent, I just responded: “kindergarten
is the best place to be”, thanked her, paid and left. On my way back I reflected,
well if that wasn’t an ego-trap test, I don’t know what is? Then again, if she
knew me, she would know that flattery takes you nowhere with me. Anyway,
whatever progress we might make on the spiritual path, we only meet greater and
deeper vistas, where we again and always are beginners, novices of mystery. But
she was right in her diagnosis, it took some five to six weeks for the painful
energy to flow through my arm and finally exit via my right-hand fingers. In a
shamanic journey, exploring the origins of this pain, I saw a Mongolian warrior
riding, together with others, fast in an open landscape with his sword high up
in the air, ready to strike. So, who knows how many heads that right arm had chopped
off in some previous life? Yet, now my causal field was ready to release and redeem
those atrocities. “The body holds the score” is a famous book, by MD Bessel van
der Kolk, about trauma healing; the concept could easily be expanded to our
soul-field, “the causal body of the soul holds the score”, and ultimately the
score is balanced and redeemed on the physical level. I’ve adopted a practice,
whenever such age-old energies seek release through me, I do the Hooponopono
practice, asking for forgiveness from a place of oneness. I’ve also come to appreciate the magic of the
eternal now-moment, all past, present and future potentiality is here in the
NOW and it is only in the NOW, if we are ready, where trauma/karma can be
accessed and healed, released, hence changing the vibration forever. It is a
sobering thought, in this Earthly three-dimensional world of contrasts, to
recognize that some lives we serve darkness and some lives the light. The soul
seeks all experiences to develop.
After this latest decent into the core
of Mother Earth and through her, I have again had difficult pains, this time in
the bones of my thighs, knees, shins and feet, i.e., the Yin part of my body. As I breath through them in meditation, calling
all manner of inner allies to my assistance, the pain releases like fizzy
bubbles. I don’t see many visions any more, but when desperate I ask for them,
to help me understand. When the pain was most intense in my thighs, I asked,
please show me what this is about. A symbolic vision came; I saw the old Sagittarian
symbol with the archer and his horse. The archer bent down and pointed his sword
down towards mother Earth, shot the arrow, which flew downwards through the
inner Earth into her core and anchored firmly there. In that moment, when the sword
touched the core of Earth the archer and horse transformed into a white Unicorn,
resulting in a massive energy release streaming out of my thighs. Upon
reflecting on this later, I was reminded that there is no going to the father
without taking the mother with you. The pain seemed to relate to lives where I
had turned my back on mother Earth and her kingdoms.
Throughout all these years the burning
and night time fiery downloads have been intense. I’ve recognized a pattern
where this is intensified a few days before a new or full moon, as if preparing
and grounding the energy, or counterbalancing what is on offer. Equally, when I’ve
managed to off-set, transmute & transform and integrate, I have been blessed
with absolutely unimaginably blissful states afterwards. I feel sometimes like
a planetary acupuncture point, some sort of “cosmic plumber” clearing debris in
order to anchor new energy deep down and trusting that this is exactly what my
soul came here to do. A lot happens through faith and surrender, knowing that
it is not really about me, hasn’t been for a long time.
We are in the Great Turning, the
whole Solar System re-aligning itself as several big cycles come to an end. After
2000 years we are finally stepping into the next 2000 years of the Aquarian Age,
but simultaneously also transitioning into the greater, approximately 25.000
yearlong Greater Aquarian Age. Finally,
after such a long time our Solar System, currently travelling through the
photon belt, turns and starts to travel towards her own central Sun, Sirius,
who also turns and starts to travel toward us, initiating the return of light. This
Great Turning needs her engine, Gaia, the base center of the Solar System, to
charge up cosmic kundalini. One way she does that, is through awakening humanity
charging up our individual temples, as shining lights in the etheric body of
Mother Earth. As above so below, and equally, as below so above. The next 2000-year
era will bring the feminine principle (heart) to the fore, and in this in-between
time, many souls have come in with the specific intent to clear up the debris of
karma gathered during the masculine era of the patriarchy, it is not meant to
be passed on anymore. I believe there are many more cosmic plumbers at work at
this time. Many souls have chosen to incarnated in female bodies to initiate
this era of the feminine principle. We so desperately need to connect with the
womb of Mother Earth, her sacred waters of life, recognizing that no new life
nor paradigm, no new, organic or healthy growth and evolution, can happen
without the Great Mother, her manifestation Gaia and the feminine principle at
large. Women, naturally, have great affinity with the waters of life and the
living Gaia if they allow their consciousness to sink in and through their body,
embodying spirit on all levels.
Gender is by cosmic law, a duality
set-up by design in all kingdoms of nature, in which we dance throughout our lives.
As long as we are looking for solutions outside of ourselves, we miss the point.
We have to find our inner balance between masculine and feminine energies and forces
within ourselves, bring harmony to the flow of energy throughout our body,
coherence into our heart-center and balance between the two halves of the
brain. Unfortunately, especially our western
culture has developed a major left-brain dominance culture, which for centuries,
especially after the industrial revolution, has suppressed and rejected the
more holistic, big-picture, creative right brain and flowing feminine principle.
I’m in Scandinavia, so referring to Yggdrasil,
as the Tree of Life comes naturally. With the changes and embodiment of my
consciousness, I drew a picture of the toroidal auric field with two trees, one
Yggdrasil with it’s roots up in heaven and branches, fruits and nourishment
flowing deep down into Mother Earth and one with the roots in Mother Earth stretching
up to heaven for manna, nourishment and blessings. The two Yggdrasil’s
represent my inner feminine and masculine.
Love…..Micaela
