THE
CROSS
I arrived in my home country with the intention of a
longer 2 months stay reconnecting with this land and taking stock of my life,
reconnecting with the ancient orders of my ancestors. Walking along the shores
of this city where I lived for so many years and having just walked past the local church with its huge metal
cross overpowering the landscape I reflect on times gone by, my relationship and
non-relationship with the religious church institution and the different dances I've danced
with traditional religion, spirituality and esoteric philosophy most of my adult
life.
I smile when I remember that I had my confirmation in this church 33 years ago, a private ordeal because my husband to be wanted a church wedding. I had left the church at the age of 18 at the first possible option of individual choice influenced by the atheist stance of my primary family. Although my mother had chosen to stay part of the church until her children could make their own choice. Usually kids go through confirmation classes at the age of 15. Also I had gone with my friends to the information session at the local parish for the upcoming classes, but after listening to the priest for 15 minutes, I stood up and declared “This is not for me” and walked out. At my later confirmation at age 27 the priest mistakenly called me by wrong first name throughout the ceremony. From some kind of misplaced courtesy I did not correct him, nor did my husband to be.
This humored me at the time and I remember thinking “this is a joke and a bit of a fraud anyway” stepping into God’s house just because someone else wants me to. Later I received a long apologetic letter from the priest. He eventually had noticed his mistake and ensured me, that despite using the wrong name I had been accepted into God’s house. But was it a kind of God’s house I wanted to be in; an authentic channel for spirit and the divine I was later in life to yearn and long for so intensely? Some years after this confirmation I left the church again as part of my divorce proceedings. It was a short marriage which produced a beautiful son and an equally short visit within the church institution to which I have never returned. But God works in mysterious ways and the church does not have exclusive rights to the Holy Soul nor the Holy Spirit nor the mysteries of life. Maybe these early experiences were already foreboding the unconventional life that followed.
Now 33 years later having opened up to my own soul and divine essence I find myself ever so often bathing in pregnant darkness full of light and love, mind still, heart open, my chalice and aura a magnetic and radiant cosmic blessing. I say most of the time, because it is challenging to continuously stay in this heightened frequency and emanate a high vibration (really an electromagnetic voltage) all the time in this density of life on Earth. This is especially difficult for a person with a very acute high sense perception and sensitive energy field which taps into the endless suffering of this world. It has been important to learn protection techniques, hold boundaries, sometimes just withdraw staying in and with the pain, bringing conscious awareness, the light of my Soul & Spirit, into the mix and allowing the discomfort to be transmuted. I AM a house of the Divine, just like you and you and you are, we all are - my relationship to the symbol of the cross has been radically transformed by my own spiritual inquiry.
I smile when I remember that I had my confirmation in this church 33 years ago, a private ordeal because my husband to be wanted a church wedding. I had left the church at the age of 18 at the first possible option of individual choice influenced by the atheist stance of my primary family. Although my mother had chosen to stay part of the church until her children could make their own choice. Usually kids go through confirmation classes at the age of 15. Also I had gone with my friends to the information session at the local parish for the upcoming classes, but after listening to the priest for 15 minutes, I stood up and declared “This is not for me” and walked out. At my later confirmation at age 27 the priest mistakenly called me by wrong first name throughout the ceremony. From some kind of misplaced courtesy I did not correct him, nor did my husband to be.
This humored me at the time and I remember thinking “this is a joke and a bit of a fraud anyway” stepping into God’s house just because someone else wants me to. Later I received a long apologetic letter from the priest. He eventually had noticed his mistake and ensured me, that despite using the wrong name I had been accepted into God’s house. But was it a kind of God’s house I wanted to be in; an authentic channel for spirit and the divine I was later in life to yearn and long for so intensely? Some years after this confirmation I left the church again as part of my divorce proceedings. It was a short marriage which produced a beautiful son and an equally short visit within the church institution to which I have never returned. But God works in mysterious ways and the church does not have exclusive rights to the Holy Soul nor the Holy Spirit nor the mysteries of life. Maybe these early experiences were already foreboding the unconventional life that followed.
Now 33 years later having opened up to my own soul and divine essence I find myself ever so often bathing in pregnant darkness full of light and love, mind still, heart open, my chalice and aura a magnetic and radiant cosmic blessing. I say most of the time, because it is challenging to continuously stay in this heightened frequency and emanate a high vibration (really an electromagnetic voltage) all the time in this density of life on Earth. This is especially difficult for a person with a very acute high sense perception and sensitive energy field which taps into the endless suffering of this world. It has been important to learn protection techniques, hold boundaries, sometimes just withdraw staying in and with the pain, bringing conscious awareness, the light of my Soul & Spirit, into the mix and allowing the discomfort to be transmuted. I AM a house of the Divine, just like you and you and you are, we all are - my relationship to the symbol of the cross has been radically transformed by my own spiritual inquiry.
We
all carry this inner cross and therefore are part of the collective cross of
humanity as a whole. The outer form hides the true temple or like Lao Tzu said
“the tangible outer form has advantages, but it is the intangible that makes it
useful” (relevant and potent). The inner state of being is always reflected in
our outer visible life. The aim is to find the balance within our own inner
cross, the hub and center of which is our heart center, the point of equilibrium
and the bridge between our vertical axis and our horizontal axis within our energy field, between our humanity and our divinity, suspended as we all are between Heaven and Earth.
To
understand this inner cross I have had to look deep within beyond the outer form
(matter) into the many layers and bandwidths of frequencies related to my interpenetrating energy nature, into the immanent woven layers that constitute a human being, my physical, emotional, mental
and spiritual selves, eventually connecting, inviting, invoking, entering and
infusing my soul and merging into a more direct dialogue with the spiritual realms. The energy
behind every form veils a divine idea, a truth or a divine concept. See beyond
the surface and contact the divine idea which gave birth to the form, to me and to you, to
all life and find your own inner temple, your own inner cross and divinity. It
was not a coincidence we are told The Christ was crucifixes on the cross; a metaphor
of the inner cross we all must travel and mount.
This
inner cross and the field surrounding it, when purified, eventually reveals a
radiant magnetic center; an expanded open and aching heart; shows us the unquestionable
preciousness of each and every soul on this journey called life.
Many
non-duality teachers emphasize that we are both the drop in the ocean and the
ocean itself. The way to this realization goes via mounting our own cross, the
drop drops into the ocean of One Humanity, into an embodied experience of the
Unity of all Life.
Aligning
and tuning into the vertical arm of the cross takes us both into the heights
and the depths of spirit. Theosophist Helena Blavatsky’s famous axiom “Spirit
is matter at its highest vibration and matter is spirit at its lowest” –
reveals the Unity of all life-forms, all life is sacred. I often use the
analogy of a time-glass or a torus when I try and describe my energy field, my
main energy centers stacked in a rung in the middle of a toroidal field. Current new
physics show us that all forms from atom to human, to planet, to solar system
and galaxy are embedded in an inherent toroidal field of energy circulating
from above to below and from below to above.
In
expanded states we reach into the depths and shadows of our being resting in
the embrace and the darkness of the Sacred Feminine her Holy Soul Sophia, touching
and anchoring at the core of the Earth. Or we soar into our inner heights reaching
our soul and spirit, consciousness expanding into Planetary-, Solar Systemic and
the Galactic levels – our Divine Father, Holy Spirit and the Cosmic Christ.
This height and depth collapsing in our heart, duality eventually resolved, all opposites
and polarities dissolved resting in an all embracing Unity, transfigured the
veil ripped apart. The soul has incarnated
and fused fully with the personality, the soul’s task is done; its field has been purified. The causal body, the house of the soul has dissolved; pure spirit has
entered resulting in a radiant heart, a radiant aura and a life of
service, of up-liftment and betterment for the good of the whole. This is the invitation,
promise and purpose of our Inner Cross.
The
horizontal arm of the cross represents our inner yin/yang, the dance and
balance between our feminine and our masculine sides and the service we render
to the world. When the pregnant darkness of the feminine merges with the light
of the masculine and vice verse, inner Unity emerges holding both sides of our
being in balance. Thus peace and harmony are restored in us and in the world. It
is an inner and an outer marriage, a consummation where only Love
and Service to Life prevails.
“The heart is a temple, but not an abode of
idols. Thus we are not against the construction of a temple, but we object to
fetishism and to bazaars. Likewise, when we speak of constructing a temple like
a heart, we do not mean that it be of heart-shaped design, we speak of its
inner significance. A temple cannot exist without realization of the infinite
chain; so, too, the heart contacts all the sensations of the Cosmos. The
heart’s anguish or joy inter-resounds with the far-off spheres. Why, then, is
anguish sensed more often than joy? Of course, the constant cosmic
perturbations agitate the heart that adheres to them. Therefore is the service
of such a heart so great upon the scale of the world. Help the structure of the
world.......Not without cause was the heart marked by the sign of the cross.
Thus the sign of the cross eternally accompanied the temple of the heart.”
Heart – Agni Yoga series (1932)
The Three Crosses...
The theme of all three Crosses is fusion and integration. The fusion of the personality into one functioning whole; the fusion of soul and personality consciously; the fusion of the threefold expression of divinity—Monad, ego and personality—so that there is an appearance of the blended energies. The keynote of their influences is the power to include and the full expression simultaneously, in time and space, of the vertical and the horizontal life.
Esoteric Astrology Alice A. Bailey.
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